Creating Jobs, Pt 1

   Note: if you have ANY interest in the topic of jobs creation and unemployment, you really need to set aside about 50 minutes to listen to this fantastic, in-depth podcast from "This American Life" in which they prove that politicians cannot create jobs. That's good to know in an election year. http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/435/how-to-create-a-job

 "grow the economy," "create jobs,"  "build the economy," "jumpstart the economy," etc. We're alll sick of these phrases but get ready, because an election year is coming up fast and you'll hear them over and over.  So now it's time to think about this question: can a government actually create jobs?
     I'll show you how easy it is to create jobs. I have a lot of twigs and sticks and stuff in my yard that need to be picked up. I will pay someone five dollars a day to come over and do the job. I would like to hire three people to get it done quickly. There. I've just created three jobs. If you want one, contact me. No benefits, five bucks for eight hours work.
    Now I'll create a hundred more jobs.  I think it would be funny to see a hundred people walking down the street in their underwear.  I would make a video of one hundred people in their underwear and post it on You Tube.  So I'm looking for a hundred people to do this.  I will pay fifty cents to each person.  It's about a hour's work. Cost to me, fifty bucks. Let me know if you need the job.
     So there, I just created 105 jobs. Didn't take long. Didn't take an act of congress or a huge investment.
     What's that you say? They are temporary jobs with no benefits that pay shit?  So nobody will want them?  You're right! And even if they did, they wouldn't make enough money to make an impact on the economy. They wouldn't suddenly be able to afford to buy a house or a car and accessorize it or decorate it. Nevertheless, i created jobs. You can't argue that point.  Stupid, pointless, worthless jobs, but jobs nonetheless.
     So why isn't this being done on a large scale? Why aren't people with lots of money offering to pay people to do all sorts of things, pay them a reasonable living wage?  That's a good question, isn't it? The money's out there. Bill Gates has some. Warren Buffett has some. Large companies like Monsanto and General Electric and Dow Chemical and Bank of America and others have some.  Celebrities and professional athletes and rock stars and investors have some.  So are they spending it to create any jobs? That's a question that needs to be looked into, doesn't it?
     The problem with creating jobs is not governmental regulations, although it's true some governmental regulations are stupid and discourage entrepreneurship to a degree. The fundamental problem is that people with money don't want to spend it unless they are sure they will get it back plus a big profit.  Businesses and banks operate according to a dictum that states profits should always go up.  If profits went up 3% in the first quarter, 6% in the second quarter, 8% in the third quarter and dropped to 5% in the fourth quarter, that's UNACCEPTABLE.  My God, what's happened??? The profits went down!!!! We had a loss!!! Quick, have my secretary cancel the Christmas bonuses, tell my wife to fire the gardner and make sure that my vacation in Aruba includes a beach front condo, not one of those crappy ones where you can't see the water.
     That's the paradigm you are dealing with folks. Investment back plus a profit everytime.  If things go sour, the boss never takes a cut, the investors don't say 'well we took a chance and didn't do so well.'  That's what investment was originally about - taking a chance. You bought into a company that seemed like it would be a winner. Sometimes you were right, sometimes you weren't. That's how it goes. Tough shit. Don't look to farmers for sympathy. Some years they get good weather and big harvests, some years crummy weather and low harvests.
     Let me let you in on a little secret: the idea that profits should always go up and investors should always go up was MADE UP by the heads of corporations and wealthy investors.  There is no basis in reality for these believes. None. Stating that profits should be expected to go up is as empty a statement as saying you had Bigfoot over to the house last Saturday to play pinocle and he brought Mrs Bigfoot and you all ended up going out for drinks and dancing.
     Wise up and stop believing everything some rich guy in a suit and tie tells you.